For some time now I’ve been hearing people talk about how Father’s should “date” their daughters. How men should show their daughters how a man is supposed to treat them; set the standard for guys who come along, so the daughters know or have an idea of what standard to have and expect from any would be courtiers.
As a Husband first, and Father second, I’ve been wrestling with this notion for quite some time now.
My wife & I have a great relationship!! It’s based on and built upon several key characteristics developed over the almost 17 years we’ve been married. We’ve spent significant time and energy establishing a rapport that we’ve come to both enjoy & depend on today!
That being said, when I dissect our relationship, and the varying nuances within its makeup, I am struggling to ascertain how I can successfully engage with any of my 3 daughters in any fashion similar to the wooing that takes place between my bride & I. I do not see my wife as simply my wife, or just the mother of my children, or only my room(bed)mate. She is astronomically greater than all those things combined! Most importantly, and exceedingly her greatest quality – none of what makes her the amazing incredible human being she is came from any part of me! My wife is the woman she is with absolutely no input from me!
Such is not the case with my daughters. All three of them are subsequent aspects of the melding of DNA from two separate donors, one of whom I am. That empirical fact alone means I can not ever look at my daughter with above all else “intent”.
When a man looks at a woman intently, he subconsciously strategizes methods to culminate his engagement with said woman in some manner that transcends even physical interactions. Plainly put, two people who’s relationship is enjoyed for decades upon decades do not achieve such nirvana without intertwining their souls on a subcutaneous level! This connectivity is realized through regular engagements, verbal, physical, and spiritual.
When I was “dating” my now wife, my inner man was hoping for this level of oneness. When I look upon the face of my daughters – my hope is they can relish in their own version of blissful ness with someone some day. I cannot fathom viewing my daughters with the same or similar eyes of intention I do my wife.
In short, dating my daughter is not an option. Teaching her by example what a man should do for his wife through the way I treat and care for her mother – that’s my job!!
From A Man’s Point of View: A Father should never date his daughter. It provides her a false sense of relation between her and the opposite sex. A Father should exemplify what a man who cares for his life mate looks like, acts like, lives like, works like, and is like.
My daughters’ father should not be the standard by which she gages any potential suitors. Her mother’s husband should be!!
Until next time!!
See About It! Be About It!